I haven’t posted anything in a long time, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. I have a pretty impressive list of unpublished drafts hidden away. The reason I haven’t hit “publish” on any of them is that there have been a lot of really insane developments in my life lately, and I’ve been doing some soul searching about how comfortable I am broadcasting them into the universe. No one is more shocked about this than I am, as I used to live for the validation that came from having people like my ridiculous ramblings and post comments about them. I think, just at a basic level, these developments are so huge and personal and so very deeply mine that it’s strange to imagine opening them up for discussion with (and perhaps even judgment from) a wide audience I can’t control.
On the other hand, I do so desperately want to keep a record of this time and I would like to have the silly (and sometimes profound) feedback I used to get from the people who read this online piece of self-serving nonsense.
I’ve kept a lot of blogs in my Millennial life and I have never in all those incarnations begged readers or followers for comments. I’ve never shamed people who loved to lurk into becoming participants, and I’m not going to do that now. However, I would like, just this one time, to ask that if you read this (or used to read this, back when it was interesting), and if you want to continue to read this, that you let me know, only because I don’t want to devastate huge swaths of the internet by making this blog private.
Additionally, I’d feel really guilty for shutting down a blog that provides Googlers of the world with search term goldmines like “worst looking girl” or “yo betta shut yo ass up.”
Basically, do I stay or do I go?