For the Record.

I have had a lifelong aversion to cameras. I’d love to have more pictures of myself with the people I love in places I visit, but I also love not being confronted with what my face looks like in photographs, and usually the latter love wins out.

Here’s a small collection of the photos taunting me from my Facebook Timeline Review (where I keep them hidden from view):

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No. And look at how I’m standing. What exactly is happening there?

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Angry Resting Face in full force.

WHAT IS THIS? WHO IS THIS?

Oh No

Nope.

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A study in apathy.

I think I’m an okay looking person, but turn a camera on me and suddenly it is all giant chins and crazy smiles and Oh my God, what do I do with my body?

So, still photographs and I aren’t buds.

I’ve recently learned that this tense relationship extends to voice recording and video cameras. I’ve spent the last week recording my voice teaching people how to use computer programs, and I can officially say that speaking naturally when I know I’m being recorded is not my forte. I sound like idiot robot who doesn’t know how to pronounce English words or regulate inflection. For example, I shared one of the tutorial videos with a friend from a different US state and he said, “Oh, I can finally hear your Californian accent.”

No, no, good sir. That’s just my inability to speak into a microphone like a normal human being.

Just today, because every terrible cake needs its humiliating icing, I was asked to be interviewed on camera about a project I worked on at the university where I’m employed. And it was the worst. The interview was outside, in the wind and sun, so I gave all my poorly worded, totally scrambled answers with my ridiculous new bangs were all over the place and my eyes watering. I’d even gotten the questions ahead of time and had prepped, but with a camera in my face and audience watching, I just could not.

It was like the worst job interview in history, which was recorded and will be posted on a university department website.

I can’t wait.

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6 thoughts on “For the Record.

  1. Ha ha I have the same feelings towards pictures! I think I am okay(-ish) looking person. But when I see people taking pictures and I get in them, I always get nervous when they show me the results. Its usually big face and nose, throw black-framed glasses on it and its a hot picture! think everybody thinks they look doofy in pictures, rest assured you’re not alone! P.s. those pictures above are not bad at all, they’re really good! 🙂

    • Haha, thank you for the vote of confidence. I really hate them all, but I’m sure they aren’t as horrible as I think they are. It’s sad, really, because I would love to be in more photos – I just ALWAYS fear the outcomes. 🙂

  2. I agree with Cathy, you look great in many of those photos! We’re always hardest on ourselves, right? Whenever I look at pictures of myself, I try to see how happy I felt in the moment, not how awkward I look. But video is a whole different story! Ugh, it’s the worst!

    • That’s a wonderful way of looking at it, actually. Focusing not on how you look, but how you feel. I’m a total narcissistic jerk, though, so that’s hard for me. 🙂 I absolutely agree with you. Video recording is THE WORST. No, nope, no thanks.

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