Life Skills.

Things I would be really good at:

1) Naming candy bars

2) Voicing cartoon characters

3) Designing hygienic public restrooms

In this fantasy land, I’d be making lots of money naming actual products things like “Nutty Razzles!” and creating silly monster characters for Nickelodeon and making sure that every public bathroom had door handles on the outside of the entry instead of the inside.

No more grabbing onto filthy door handles on the way out of the bathroom! In addition, all locks, faucets, and hand drying implements could be operated by elbows, because no one should have to touch anything with their fingers in a public toilet. (And yes, I know how that sounds, pervs.)

A girl can dream.

 

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