A lot has happened recently. I’ve attended one graduation a day since Thursday. I will eventually get back to writing with actual words, but this week has been a total blitz and I am wiped. Here, I present Once Again, This Spring Everyone Graduated Except Sarah:
First, the kids in my class graduated! It was adorable and stressful and exciting and really, really sad. I’m going to miss those creeps tremendously. I have a bunch of super great photos of the day, but I’m too paranoid to post even the backs of kids’ heads, for fear that that’s in breach of privacy contracts at my job. Therefore, please accept this photo of the gorgeous girls’ floral headbands and a picture of some balloons.
Then, last night, my littlest brother, The Baby, who I absolutely adore, graduated from high school as a valedictorian. This kid is such a genius that he passed over his acceptance at UCLA in favor of an even more impressive college option. I have already bound him in a verbal contract to take care of us financially when he is an enormously wealthy doctor. No escapes.
My great aunts also told me a good joke:
Have you heard about the man with five penises?
They say his pants fit like a glove!
And finally, today, Fertile Myrtle graduated from the University of Phoenix with her BA in “A Useful Concentration That Will Garner Her A Job.” Congratulations, darling! I got to hang out with The Fiece (Baby Fiece was there too, terrifying me with her newborn baby screams) for a couple cuddly hours, which is always, always the best.
I’m anticipating a few days of down time before I go back to finish my thesis research/some work at school. First on the list: finish the episode of [Redacted Embarrassing ABC Family Show] that has been open (and halfway viewed) on my computer for three days.