Ugggghhh.

***Second disclaimer of the week: this post features offensive language and mental imagery.  Consider yourselves warned.***

I’m not easily offended.  At all.  I have gross brothers and male cousins and I wrote on a college comedy paper with a bunch of dudes and I am an intelligent, open-minded person who can find the humor in pretty much anything.  Therefore, in the nearly one year history of this blog, I have not censored any comments.  Not a one.  Granted, 99% of your comments have been positive, supportive or genuinely hilarious, so I’m not martyring myself or anything.  My point is that I’m not some shrinking violet who can’t take a joke or has my panties permanently in a wad.

So, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to a WordPress comment notification that actually upset me.  It’s from someone who has never commented before, and thus, it required my permission before posting to the site, and I can tell you right now that it’s not gonna make it.  Why?

Because on my ridiculously bullshit-y post Seven Questions, someone kindly asked:

Why doesn’t your husband just gag you with his cock?

I just wrote, and deleted, a whole post worth of crazy about this comment.  I’ve decided not to publish all my very many feelings because it could very well have just been an attempt at humor that fell flat because 1) this is the internet and 2) I have no idea who this person is and 3) the only way those types of jokes can ever hope to work is if they are directed at personal friends and don’t carry vaguely threatening undertones.

If you were kidding, I apologize for calling you out.

If you are a diligent spammer, I commend you.  That post was about husbands and talking, so nice work.

However, if you are implying that my voice is too stupid or silly for my own blog, and that the only solution is to offensively suggest that my husband “silence” me, then I would hope you find another place to surf the internet.

End (totally redacted) rant.

Dear everyone: I’m sorry for this, which I am sure is a total, early-morning overreaction. (Is it?  Help me!)  Sometimes, I just can’t.

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29 thoughts on “Ugggghhh.

  1. Definitely not an overreaction – if I had gotten that, I would have had the same angry/scared/appalled reaction! I cannot believe that happened!

    My best to you, and I hope it never happens again!

  2. I’d have thought for sure that a post like this would be directed towards something I said, but yeah, that’s a bit crass to say to a person you don’t know. I like to razz you myself, but even I’d not use language that vulgar. Well, maybe in a different context I would. lol.

  3. 1). I will not hit like to this post. I do not like this happening to you at all.
    2). I know that even in writing, we all like to have fun and then sometimes in our fun, we sometimes have those “ah-ha” moments and have a moment of seriousness BUT…
    3). What the f*** ?????

    I have never read anything like that into your blogs.
    I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you though for sharing.

    • What the f*** indeed. He responded to this post too and I published it for most of the day, before deciding to draw a hard line and not allow any interaction. His second comment essentially validated my first impression – it wasn’t a joke and it wasn’t spam. The joy.

  4. Not an over reaction! That is tasteless and there really is no place for comments such as the one you mentioned. I would have had the exact same reaction as you.

  5. I don’t think you’re being a whiny baby (LOL) or anything…but if I saw that same comment I would laugh and definitely post it. But I will tell you this. I don’t know how old you are, but ten years ago, no….five years ago even, I would have never allowed that to be posted on my blog. You have to have a good sense of humor about it! You have to go, “Why would this person even think to post this?”
    I think it’s hilarious. Maybe someone was so irritated by your blog that they were thinking “Man I just wanna stick my cock in that girl’s mouth to shut her up!”
    Don’t you think that’s just hilarious and sad and worthy of sharing with your audience all at the same time? I say let it be posted! People will get a good laugh!

    • I understand the desire to laugh it off, but I am ultimately just really confused by it. I’ve written about politics and abortion and religion and parenting (while not being a parent) – all topics that are hot-button issues – and to get a reaction like that from a joke post I wrote in five minutes in an effort to record a ridiculous conversation with my husband was a little bit of a surprise. Like, why be so vile for no reason, random stranger?

      • I’m going right now to read the post he made that comment following because it sounds like it just didn’t fit in at all. Plus, you’re a really sweet young lady I can see that for sure, you definitely didn’t deserve it so please don’t think that’s at all what I was implying–I hate guys like that WITH A PASSION! Perhaps my laughing it off is my way of saying to that guy “you’re not gonna get under my skin sorry piece of crap!”

  6. Not the least bit overreacting. Some people are assholes, and there’s nothing wrong with saying that their words are bs, annoying, and the work of an asshole. They probably won’t care, trolls usually don’t, but nothing wrong with sharing your feelings on your own blog.

  7. Not an overreaction. It’s totally creepy (and a little scary) to get something like this from someone you do not know. I don’t understand what motivates someone to post an insulting, offensive response on a stranger’s blog. What makes someone decide to insult someone they have never met? Don’t they have OTHER THINGS TO DO?

    • I KNOW. Also, to have that stupid post be the one that motivated someone to leave a comment like that is just insane to me. UGH. This is the first time since having the blog that I’ve considered NOT having it anymore. It’s a nasty reminder that this is public domain.

  8. I dont think your over reacting at all! That kind of comment is not ok! If you two were good friends then i would be somewhat ok with it (well, maybe!!) Its just not ok to say that to anyone on anyones comments!

  9. What an asshole he is! But I don’t think he should be censored by any means. Let people see the way some people are. The great thing about blogs is that you can say whatever you want, right? Then why censor? You can say whatever you want~ regardless of whether or not you say things you shouldn’t–people who read your blogs can think whatever they want, hence say whatever they want. He’s a moron, totally, but I think it’s funny that he would be so daring. Don’t you think he has balls?

    • I don’t know. It certainly takes a lot of something to send a comment like that into the universe.

      I decided to censor it because it grossed me out. And I don’t want someone I work with or know in real life to stumble upon it and think that I find that acceptable.

      Blarg.

  10. I got to thinking…why didn’t that guy’s comment come up as spam? I get a lot of spam comments here on wordpress that’s really disgusting like telling me to watch a someone take a something in their something…I can’t believe that person’s comments weren’t spammed! Am I the only one getting those disgusting spam comments? Is it because my name is Lulubelle?

  11. Just because you are a funny woman who can joke around and be around the crude humor of a man does not entitle anyone to say whatever they want to you. You are still a woman and you still have feelings. I’ve had the same problem MANY times but not via comments, rather in person. I am HILARIOUS in public and my friends consist 95% of guys, rednecks at that. I can joke around with the best of them (and some of them couldn’t take me in a drinking contest!). A majority of them are very respectful of the fact that I am still a woman (although some contest to that saying I have a bigger dick than some men they know) but there’s always the few in the crowd that push things as far as they think they can get…an example of this is I’ve had someone (a “close friend”) send me a picture of their junk, fully hard saying “good morning”. Now 1, what gives them the right to subject me to their little hard pecker? 2. What makes them think I would not tell my husband, their WIFE, nor anyone else who would take a bullet for me in a heartbeat? Needless to say this person was verbally sassed and thrown out of the group. Some men are just wired in such a way that they think they can say whatever they want to women who have a sense of humor and laugh it off as “just a joke” if you are offended. You have every right to be upset about that comment and I think this person should be reported.

    • Be reported? I must just really be desensitized because I will be honest, this man’s comments–in my opinion–are nothing at all like what a man did my sending you a photo of himself to say good morning–THAT I would have reacted the exact same way to. A man in your audience being disrespectful in front of everyone in such a daring, “in your face” way–he can see your face as you react– a man sending an email with no one around completely in private where you can hit delete the second you see it & are offended by it. I personally–and don’t hate me PLEASE for my opinion because all this is is my opinion–I see a bigger deal being made about this than had to be made and I just realized this very minute why I feel so strongly about everyone’s reaction to it—so I’m going to just end with a real brief explanation–my mother is a complete bitch and overreacts to everything and, for example, if my Dad says the wrong thing in front of people he will hear about it for weeks and she hates my husband so she will regularly find something wrong with everything he says or does and won’t hesitate to say something about it for the next week as she sends me nasty email after nasty email. I’m a Psychology major with a mother who causes that switch to be flipped in me and sets something off inside me that can’t be controlled so out of a strong desire to do anything necessary not to be like my mother at all, here I am feeling irritated at all of you and I apologize for that, you have no idea how bad she is and what she has done to me all my adult life so ladies I apologize for this, carry on. I could’ve deleted my whole comment but thought it rather important I explain my attitude about all of your reactions to the
      creep…

      • In my opinion (and it is just my opinion) verbal or imagery is the same thing. It is crude and unwarranted. This is coming from someone who has been verbally and sexually harassed by a boss, ex boyfriend, “friends”, and complete strangers. To me, this is one in the same as it causes discomfort, uneasiness, anger, and confusion. This is why I felt the way I felt in reaction to the comment. It’s amazing I can still be friends with men in the amount of harassment I have dealt with over my life but you learn to see the warning signs of someone who will cross the line. It does cause some long term damage as well in that I cannot have a male doctor and shake uncontrollably and cry when my doctor is unavailable…I leave the office.
        I think that experiencing things like this first hand would cause someone to relive the discomforts that they have felt in the past by similar encounters and react in such a way to think this “creep” is more than just a “creep”.
        Now I must go cry a little as some painful memories were just revisited.

      • Oh my, ecutri, please accept my deepest and most sincere apology-I I would never want to upset anyone like that. Like I said in my last post, I realized this whole scenario for me is like reliving a day in utter hell with my mother and not about the guy at all. I hope that you’ve had a great few days and have a beautiful rest of the week… 🙂 XoXoXoXo

      • It is totally fine…I just needed to explain myself since you picked my comment out to talk about

        I just hope that everyone realizes that sometimes an “innocent” crude comment can lead to unwanted events, not that it ALWAYS will, but there is the potential if you keep allowing these comments to be made. The picture I had referred to was not the only event it was preceded by similar crude comments that I took as a joke and just smiled and nodded off…he tested his limits and I am glad I spoke up. I’ve learned to protect myself and to avoid uncomfortable situations. I also am much more vocal when I do not feel comfortable which I never was in the past. It’s lessons I never wanted to have to learn, but learn them I did.
        Thank you for your concern and I hope you have a lovely week as well.

      • I take sexual harassment VERY VERY seriously; in 2008, my husband and I, along with my parents and my brother, opened a gigantic full-service restaurant which was a dream of all of ours. I was the General Manager and had an amazing working relationship with each and every employee I hired. We hadn’t even been open six months when we all for a ladder from an attorney demanding $25,000 to settle out of court a SEXUAL HARASSMENT claim–against ME!! It was Ann employee I thought was rather magnificent but in all actuality, he was a con artist (he’s now in prison) and wasn’t even using his real name. So I do absolutely understand the seriousness of it and I very sincerely mean it from the bottom of my heart–apologize again for being insensitive. I had actually forgotten that sexual harassment thing until just now. Ouch.

        XoXoXoXo lulubelle7537

  12. I would never say that to someone I don’t know. That’s crazy.

    The craziest comment I ever got was from someone who authored a book about “femi-nazis.” …Promptly trashed.

    • In retrospect, I shouldn’t have thought twice about it. I should have just deleted it like your femi-nazi comment and moved on. However, I’ve been in an inexplicably terrible mood for the last few days and it was the last straw on this camel’s back. I’m still feeling super weird about broadcasting it. WHY DIDN’T I JUST STICK TO WRITING ABOUT WHAT I ATE ON SATURDAY???

  13. My thought here is: how would this play out if done in reality (such as at a party)? Someone behaving that way to a stranger in public would be a complete pariah. Why should it be any different on the internet? You were right to block it. He’s a horrible person who should be thrown out of your virtual party…

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