If the last Presidential election cycle taught me anything, it’s that I’m actually a bit of a moderate, which was pretty shocking to me, because I came of age in the Bush Years, when anything associated with conservatism was slathered in a butchering of the English language and refusal to listen to reason. I figured I’d be a radical liberal, marching in peace protests and standing on corners holding signs (both things I have done more than once), for the rest of my life.

As I get older, and start to see the world as no longer black and white, and instead as just one giant elephant, totally gray and full of wrinkles (OMG I LOVE THAT ANALOGY. I AM BRILLIANT), I am less inclined to say my “party” is Democrat and more inclined to say my beliefs are “common sense.” If an argument makes sense when taken all the way to its logical end, then I am all for it. So, ear neo-conservatives: please teach me how to manage my money, while I teach you how to care about your fellow man. It could really be a win-win here.

My newfound peace in moderation is the reason that I no longer engage in the heated political shit stirring of yesteryear, because I know, from my own personal ideological experience, that no matter how angry you get or how eloquently you state your case, if the person you’re speaking to subscribes to one party and one party only, you are both going to get nowhere.

Also, arguments make me anxious and I get the shakes. Most of the time, it’s not worth it to me.

However, I have, on occasion, written here (and here and here) about ridiculous political memes posted to my Facebook newsfeed, simply because I felt I needed to say something, but refused to engage with the person who posted it (and this is entirely because the person who posted all of these things to their internet profile is my dear older cousin. Family first, after all).

This morning, I did a bad thing. I saw something on Facebook and could not help myself and I engaged:

Picture 5

Because COME ON, PEOPLE.  I understand that you love yourselves some second amendment and I really appreciate your dedication to the laws of the United States. (Seeing as you adore amendments so much, I thought you might want to reread this one. You know, so you stop being such dicks about gay marriage.)

I also completely understand and respect what I believe to be the ultimate point of that Stewie graphic: encouraging people to take responsibility for their own actions. Sure, I’d like to blame my spoon for making me fat, but I know, deep down, that when I MISS SPELL a word, it is not the fault of my pencil (or in the above case, your photo editing software).

To a sane person, this makes sense. Sane people know that inanimate objects are not to blame for how they are used. (I know that too, but today my hair looks terrible. Thanks for ruining my day, hair.)

Gun control advocates are sane people. Proposing stricter gun laws that seek to limit public access to military-grade weapons capable of blowing people apart by sheer force is not a bizarre conspiracy to put the onus on guns. It is an attempt to stop crazy people from using military-grade weapons capable of blowing people apart to blow people apart. Full stop.

We need to legislate this because there is no reasoning with crazy people. At this point, we can barely reason with you.


11 thoughts on “Polidicks.

  1. It always amazes me the things people post on Facebook about their illogical or uninformed political beliefs. Unless you can rationally argue it, it’s probably best left in your head or among those who already love you enough to see past your ignorance.

    • There is just so much incendiary nonsense floating around – people post things JUST to get reactions, I think.

      And in this case, I’m a dummy so it worked. 🙂

      • Yeah, I’m about to cave into it today, too following that stabbing in Texas. I have a feeling it’s not going to make me any friends, but that’s okay.

  2. The 2008 Election caused me to terminate Facebook and never look back…. I learned things about people I, well, honestly, had probably tried to ignore in them prior, and the level of belligerence, intolerance, and ignorance was downright breathtaking, especially once the mob mentality kicked in and it became a cyber tag team cage fight against some poor soul who tiptoed into the convo trying to inject logic or fact . Life is significantly better without FB but the damage was done… they are the nation-loving patriots and anyone else who isn’t lockstep with them is a dirty liberal to this day.

    • Haha! That was probably a really smart call. I’m too addicted to Facebook – I could not delete my profile. I did the complete opposite. In 2008, I deleted all the people posting offensive things, so now, for the most part, I have a very insulated Facebook feed that serves to validate my own opinions. It worked out pretty nicely. 🙂

  3. I don’t think you got the point. The effects of Obama’s gun control act (no matter how huge) will be hardly measurable. There are so many illegal weapons in the US. Bans will resolve nothing.

    As a libertarian it strikes me that liberals understand this point when we talk about ineffective drug control but as soon as we talk about gun control and other bans they act foolish again. Criminals will never care about the law. (That’s why they are called criminals). Bans will always and only target normal citizens.

    How far will liberals take their ban orgy? This student in Texas stabbed 14 people with an X-Acto knife today. In a ‘gun free zone’ again like in Aurora and Newton. (Oh gosh he didn’t care). Even before that incident Obama planned to ban 80% of all pocket knives. I guess he has to ban X-Acto knives, too and then we will finally be safe again. Fear mongering was a specialty of the GOP once but by now liberals passed them by far.

    • Oh I think I understood the point. I was mostly being a snarky jerk and trying to cause a family feud. As an anthropologist, I’m absolutely middle-of-the-road on most things and I tend to see all the very many pieces that make up various problems. I’m not ban-happy and I believe in personal responsibility.

      I understand that gun violence in our country is about mental health and crime rates and poverty and economy before it is about gun control. No issue exists in a vacuum.

      However, I don’t believe that the enormity of the problem excuses our lack of legislative response. We will never make it impossible for criminals to have access to weapons, but we certainly don’t have to make it easier.

      And, on a much more basic level, I just really hate the argument presented in that meme. We can argue the merits of gun control while still actually making sense.

  4. I’ve always been neutral because I hate fighting. A passive aggressive like me will always hide behind sarcasm and humor to defuse the fight because fights make me shaky too. One time my boss let us air out all our feelings and my face got so red and I got so shaky it took me hours to get down. I just realized most things aren’t worth the fight and like you said, people need to be responsible for their own actions and then other things would take care of themselves.

    • I totally use humor to lighten moods. I am the first one to make a terrible joke when things get tense, because I also get really shaky and crazed when people get heated. I can’t think straight or formulate thoughts and it takes me a really long time to settle down. In fact, my cousin ended up responding to my Facebook attack and I didn’t even read it because I’m not interested in going nuts.

      Moral, as always: I shouldn’t have engaged.

  5. I just did a huge rant on rape culture on my Facebook. Just to prevent people from talking shit about a recent suicide resulting from a gang rape (no convictions of course thanks Canadian Mounties, photographic evidence just “wasn’t enough”). I have had to delete a few people that offended me. I have tried talking about it on the post, but you just get trolled. Or the worst “It’s just a joke” *headdesk*


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