Old Age.

Last Thursday, my husband turned 30.  30, people.  Sometimes, I’m still shocked that I have peers who are thirty years old and here I am, married to one of them.  To celebrate his old age, we had a lovely dinner at a local Indian restaurant, where the waiters call The Husband “Elvis” and I am “Elvis’ wife.”  It’s been a few months since we ate in (we order delivery more often than I’d like to admit), so when we walked into the place, which was packed, they all called out, “Elvis!  It’s been so long!  How are you?” and took turns shaking my husband’s hand and slapping him on the back, while all the other people wished they were as cool as us.  (This welcome was more exciting for him than my carefully chosen gifts were.  Figures.)

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To honor my husband on this milestone birthday, I put digital graffiti on some photos of him and spent some time pointing out his most impressive gray hair.

On Saturday, we met up with my grandmother, the great-aunts, my parents and my cousins at the great-aunts’ house for a belated pizza-and-beer birthday party.  I believe I’ve mentioned before that the oldest generation of my family is also the most awesome.  While we were waiting for my father to make an appearance with the food, we gathered around the aunts’ living room and told jokes.  My favorites were the following, told with impeccable delivery by my great-aunt Carole:

Three mothers are sitting together, discussing the beginning of life.  One woman is Catholic, one woman is Christian and one woman is Jewish.

The Catholic woman says, “Life begins at conception!”

The Christian woman replies, “Absolutely not!  Life begins when the child is born and you hold him for the first time and he draws his first breath!”

Pausing for a moment, the Jewish woman says, “You’re both wrong.  Life begins when all your children are grown and your last dog dies.”

And this:

A husband and wife are standing in line at the bank when an armed robber storms in demanding all the cash.  After he’s collected his haul, he announces that he will have to kill everyone inside because they have seen his face and may be able to identify him to the police.

The husband, thinking quickly, says, “Well, what if we couldn’t???  Would you spare us?”

The robber replies, “You’re saying you wouldn’t be able to identify me?”

I wouldn’t be able to,” says the husband, pointing to his wife, “but she would.”

If my husband and I live into our seventies, eighties and nineties and are half as engaged and hilarious as my grandparents and aunts are, I will gladly accept growing old.

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15 thoughts on “Old Age.

  1. Thirties are fun. I hesitate to call it the best decade of life for those of us with kids, but it’s not the worst! My thirties comes to an end in a couple of days. The weight of that truth is crushing me.

    • Don’t be too discouraged! As a man, you’ll get better with age. As a woman, I’ll become a shriveled old crone at the stroke of midnight on my 40th birthday. 🙂

      • I have a post about ageing, titled, “Aging Gracefully” in October archives. Ugh. 🙂 I’ve got another 5-6 years tops before we’ll settle into the no kids zone. Thankfully, I have a Neice and Nephew to watch grow.

      • Just read it and I feel the same way. Recently (like in the last three months), I’ve settled into a bizarrely zen outlook on life. If kids happen, they will happen. And I hope I’m okay if they don’t. It does make it easier to have kids you’re close to though, doesn’t it? I have a fake niece I am obsessed with and seeing her constantly (and teaching her terrible things) makes it a little easier to handle the fact that it hasn’t happened for us personally yet.

      • I agree, I have a Niece and Nephew who I now see every 2 weeks now that I’m back in my hometown. Although yesterday, my older Brother-in-Law sent phones of his 6 month old and I completely lost my self to tears. I’m further away from obtaining my family fairytale and decided that I won’t tolerate someone telling me , “it’ll happen when you least expect it.” Ummm isn’t that why there are meds and procedures to help further us along? Anyways, I just read yesterday that Jennifer Love-Hewitt has had some of her eggs frozen in fear she’ll miss her child bearing years. Great. LOL it’s okay, we have to embrace what we are selectively given or decide we are going to do everything we can to get what we aren’t given. Im not thinking the latter at this point. Good luck to both of us!

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