Today was the 100th day of school and the kids were encouraged to both bring in collections of 100 objects and to dress up like they were one hundred years old. Everyone remembered their collections (which ranged from paper clips and crayons to rose petals and gummy bears), but only two children dressed up, one boy and one girl.
The boy wore plaid shorts, house slippers and white socks pulled up to his knees, and insisted that we all call him, “Old Man Jimmy*,” instead of just “Jimmy,” which was amazing.
The girl wore a frilly white shirt under a long black dress and kept calling out, in her best old-lady voice, “I’m a hundred! I’m a hundred!”
At one point, she looked directly at me and said, “Sarah, I’m an old lady. I’m one hundred years old!”
Then, her entire body shaking, she bent over at the waist, used her right fist to steady herself on an invisible cane, pointed at me with her left hand, and yelled,
“GET OFF MY LAWN!”
Conclusion: our children are brilliant.
*names have been changed