Being married can mean many different things, like that you love your partner more than anyone in the entire world or that you couldn’t imagine your life with anyone else. In our house, being married also means never having to say anything in a nice way ever again.
Take, for instance, the exchange my husband and I had the very moment we woke up this morning:
Husband: Oh my God. Don’t breathe on me. Do not breathe on me.
Me: Stop being so dramatic. If I yelled at you every time you had bad breath, I would never stop yelling at you.