I love spam. I don’t mean the canned meat sludge that my fellow Americans living in 2013 still inexplicably consume. The spam I love is of the blog comment variety. I love it so much that I purposely un-spammed four comments on my first Whiny Baby post. (Full disclosure: I mostly did it because I wanted to have four comments. It was a low point.) Today, I got nine spam comments and they are all totally incomprehensible, with the same fantastically weird syntax that makes them appear to be written in English by humans; however, upon review, they were most definitely created in the bowels of a hard drive somewhere by some artificially intelligent human thought approximator robot. I find it legitimately amazing that every company selling knock-off Gucci bags thinks blasting my blog with comments like, “Your wording is much the best in all the internet searches. Did you write the ebook for this appealing circumstance?” is totally going to win me over and make me click on their super sneaky website “fakeguccibagforyou.com” for “more talks about your good intelligence.” Thank you very much for the compliments, but I like my Forever 21 painted-plastic shoulder bag just fine.
My favorites today:
That last one there was in actual English, but ran afoul by hailing from “topcoldcalling.weebly.com” and alluding to Myspace (which I assume only still exists so that I can occasionally steal photos I like from my own public profile, considering I forgot the password five years ago).
For all its faults, spam makes me feel popular, so feel free to view over my web page when time is allowing for some nice new images, you good, good robots.