Showered.

This week was a doozy.  With the end of school and various family gatherings, every second of my life has been scheduled and I am exhausted.  Just yesterday alone, my husband and I attended a wedding shower and a 16th birthday party.  So.  Tired.  And we’re slated to go to a (late) family Hanukkah party tonight and to host Christmas brunch on Tuesday, so we’re frantically cleaning the house and getting gifts wrapped.  I guess that’s what happens when you work right up until the 21st of December.  What do non-teachers/students do?  How the hell do you all get ready for the holidays without a break?  Holy moly.

Despite how crazy it was to be out and socializing from 11 am until 9 pm yesterday at two different, back-to-back parties, I am so glad we went to the wedding shower.  One of my best friends from high school is marrying her boyfriend of eight years in April and as they both attend medical school on the east coast and are both from Southern California, they decided to take advantage of winter break and have an early shower in Malibu yesterday. I knew in advance that a bunch of people I hadn’t seen since high school were going to be there and I was insanely anxious about it.  (I may or may not have gone out shopping for new clothes and tried on several different outfits beforehand.)  I have a not-so-secret complex about what a huge failure I am for being eight years out of high school and not running a corporation (or being a huge financial success), so the prospect of taking that insecurity out and displaying it in front of people who have been working in research and development since graduating from college or who have learned Arabic and worked in the middle east or who are getting their Ph.Ds in Biology made me want to throw up all over myself.  (I rolled with a lot of overachievers in high school.)

As it turns out, as always, living your life by comparison is a pretty stupid thing to do, as everyone had complaints and I think we are all feeling the squeeze of aging out of the blissful idealism of our early 20s.  I had anticipated feeling like total crap about myself and I ended up having really engaging and wonderful conversations with my high school friends and their significant others.  (Also, I was able to trot out working as an osteologist at an archaeological excavation and had a moment in the sun.)  Even my husband, who didn’t have the benefit of having history with these people, had a great time.  We stayed late, sitting outside in the light rain under space heaters and talking for hours.  We closed down the party and I left feeling like I was beaming light.  It was really was such a warm, wonderful experience, both because my friend is marrying someone who is made for her and because I realized time hasn’t changed any of us.  It was so fun.  I can’t wait for the wedding.

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After my last negative pregnancy test, I decided I can drink on special occasions. Notice I am wasting no time in this photo: at one point, I had a Taj Mahal AND a huge glass of white wine at the same time.

Another unexpected joy yesterday was that I finally started my first, non-medicated period in over two and a half years.  I knew something was up when the right side of my chin completely exploded after weeks of relative quiet, but I know well enough by now not to try to predict what is going on with me.  I think I’m going to use up the rest of my ClearBlue ovulation tests this month, to see if I might have a normal cycle happening here.  And also, for science.

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