Today in What It’s Like To Be The Youngest Female In A Family Of Jewish Matriarchs:

3:49 pm: I call my great aunt, this year’s holiday host, and leave a message about my mother-in-law coming to our Thanksgiving feast.  I ask her to call me back whenever she can just to confirm and mention getting Baja Fresh together sometime soon.

6:16 pm: I miss a call from my great aunt.

6:19 pm: I miss another call from my great aunt.

(I am watching the first episode of “Pramface” on Hulu and decompressing from work and I figure I will call her back when it’s over.)

6:21 pm: I miss a call from my mother.

7:31 pm: I miss a call from great aunt #2.

8:50 pm: I purposely ignore a phone call from my parents’ home number.

8:51 pm: My mother calls my husband.  He answers, thus ending the panic.  Had he not, I probably could have also missed a call from my grandparents.

9:05 pm: My husband hands his phone to me, after discussing my family’s various ailments and tragedies with my mom for twenty minutes.  I gleefully admit to my mother that I ignored them all intentionally to see how many family members would get eventually get involved (grand total: 6, including my husband and my grandparents, who apparently called my mother after receiving a call from my great aunt).  She tells me to enjoy getting hassled because I’m incredibly lucky to have great aunts who can call me in the first place.

She’s absolutely right and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  However, they’re all still totally insane.

Great aunt #1, master of the phone tree, with the husband and me years (and many bad clothing calls) ago, at my youngest brother’s bar mitzvah.

Also insane: I am currently on day six of random waves of nausea coupled by digestive problems and hip joint pain.  Apparently, I am the queen of hysterical pregnancies.  I’ll be on my fainting couch if you need me, fanning myself and loosening my stays.  You know, because I’m such a hysterical, emotionally fragile woman.



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