I invented a new game today and it’s called “Am I Pregnant or Just A Lunatic?” The rules are as follows:
First, create two lists (you could call one something like “Pregnant” and and the other something like “Lunatic”). Under these headers, list all the reasons you feel you could be filed under each category. The header that gleans the longest list is the winner. Let’s play!
1) Waves of mild nausea all week. This ranges from feeling very slightly upset to full-on gagging while driving in the car.
2) Acid reflux/heartburn. Again, just mild enough to be noticeable.
3) Persistent low cramping. Occasional uterine (?) pinching. Uncomfortable and near constant, but mild.
4) Currently on day two of mild congestion and sneezing. This is unusual because when I get sick (and it is rare), it goes from zero to hero pretty quickly. I usually get about two hours warning (itchy nose, sore throat, etc.) before I have a full-blown head cold. I’ve had very slight, cyclical symptoms for about 36 hours now.
5) Mood swings. I’ve had three different, unnecessary fights with my husband today.
6) Crying for no reason. I’m a pretty emotional person, but I’m currently out of control. For instance, I just had to pause writing this post because I was listening to a particularly mellow song and burst into tears when I made eye contact with my husband. I sobbed for about 60 seconds and then came right back to the computer, totally fine.
1) Mild nausea. Psychosomatic.
2) Mild acid reflux/heartburn. Psychosomatic.
3) Mild persistent low cramping. Psychosomatic.
4) Mild cold symptoms. Psychosomatic.
5) Mood swings. Lunatic.
6) Crying for no reason. No explanation necessary.
Okay, so that was a wash. I could very well be a pregnant lunatic, I guess. I took a cheap Target brand pregnancy test this morning, because I found it under the sink and was excited (I thought I was all out) and because I have zero patience (I was supposed to wait until Monday/Tuesday. It hasn’t even been 12 days since I ovulated).
It was negative.