Yesterday, my husband and I went down to visit my dear friend A and her adoooorable new son, who was born on Thursday. Being a terribly snarky person, when newborn babies aren’t super cute, I tend to say things like, “Oh, he’s so small!” or “I love that outfit!” because complimenting something relatively neutral makes me appear to be a nice, normal person while also not forcing me to lie. (I know. I’m horrible.) Anyway, I can safely say without any crafty lying that A’s child is one of the most gorgeous babies I’ve ever seen. I was honestly in awe of him.
I swear I’m holding him in the picture above (and staring into his beautiful little face). There’s an elbow there! See? I’ve cropped him out (and made this picture look like a vanity shot of just me) because my friend hasn’t even really announced this pregnancy/birth on her own Facebook page and I don’t want to publish photos of her son on the interwebs. I am occasionally respectful.
The husband and I dropped off some brownies for the grown ups (because when I’m running on little to no sleep, sugar keeps me upright and I figured it would work the same way with new parents) and cooed at the baby for a long time.
My husband took a bunch of photos of me holding him and they all look like the one above (except with more baby in them, obviously): I could not stop looking at him. Babies truly are spectacular, especially when they are the children of people you love.
As of yesterday morning, I am still not pregnant. I am also still not getting a period either. I’m not surprised by this at all, considering I once went nine months without a period when I was 15 (and still a virgin, so there was no funny business – just pretty intense cycle irregularity). However, I’m frustrated now because a period would signal the end of last month’s attempts and the beginning of a new month. It would allow me to start tracking ovulation, something I want to do now mostly because I suspect that I’m not ovulating and I would really like a huge pile of tester sticks to confirm this to me so I can discuss it with my doctor.
My biggest anxiety is not that I want to be pregnant right now, after just one month of legitimately trying. It is that there might be something more to my irregularity than just “how I am.” And I don’t know if I have the patience to wait months and months to figure it out.