Let me begin by saying that the title of this post makes me feel like the most hilarious person in the universe. Don’t judge.
In other news, yesterday was full of exciting pregnancy updates – for other people. I just got a frustrating and slightly annoying negative morning test result (yes, I did not make it to today without wasting a stick). However, this frustration and annoyance is very obviously tempered by the fact that the people who announced this baby-related news are my closest friends, so I am absolutely thrilled for them and this makes me less of a jealous monster.
1) My friend trying for her second baby, who had her IUD removed on July 13th (as in, one month ago), had a positive result yesterday morning (…we may have planned to take them at the same time. Not ashamed). I saw her tonight and she handed me her ClearBlue digital ovulation tester, as she doesn’t need it anymore and I’m most definitely using it next month, should I ever get my period.
2) One of my best friends in the world went into labor late last night and had her first baby, a boy, this morning. She did it naturally with the help of Hypnobirthing, which I will learn and post all about on Sunday, when I steal all of her materials after meeting her son for the first time.
In the meantime, I’ve just been having cramps all over the place: very low abdomen, hips, lower back. I am notoriously terrible at “reading my body,” but I’ve gotten familiar enough with myself that I’m aware of what symptoms precede a period and these definitely aren’t them. Also, I’ve been experiencing them for about six days now with no sign of my period, which is pretty much unheard of around here. This could simply just be the start of my first non-medically-stimulated cycle since birth control, so conception progress made this week? I could either be pregnant or not pregnant. So glad I’ve narrowed it down.