I was a hormonal mess as a teenager. I had terrible skin (which I cured with Accutane – not pleasant) and terribly greasy hair. Post-Accutane, my skin/hair normalized almost entirely due to hormonal birth control. So, you can imagine the joy that is now, as I have been off the pill for four months and am at the mercy of my whacked out hormones. (Also: hormone, hormone, hormone.)
I give you “Things I Didn’t Know Could Happen To My Hair (And/Or Face)”:
1) I had no idea I would go from perfectly normal, three-washes-a-week hair to completely-unable-to-wash-clean hair six weeks after stopping the pill.
2) I had no idea I would then spend the next 10 days washing my hair with three different kinds of “stripping” shampoos, before trying baking soda pastes and Dove bar soap in desperation, only to discover that my hair was still greasy immediately after drying post-wash every single time. I took two showers a day for ten days and my hair was never clean. It was the worst.
3) I had no idea I would be attending my best friend’s baby shower, a graduation at the school where I had just been hired and several family events in those ten days with (still filthy) hair I just washed with a bar of body soap. (Spoiler alert: I looked like a crazy person.)
4) I had no idea I would solve this hair trauma with a $2.50 bottle of Suave Daily Clarifying Shampoo and I could never have predicted the sheer joy I felt when my hair dried for the first time in what seemed like fifteen years and was actually clean. (As it is, though, I still can’t go more than 24 hours max without a shampoo. Screw waiting for positive test results – the grease factor is really the worst part of trying to conceive.)
5) I have had at least one active pimple on my face at all times for five weeks. I’m hesitant to even complain about this, because when I was sixteen, I would have traded anything to have only one pimple at a time. However, I’m a month shy of 26 and have been acne-free for five years and there is something really distressing about suddenly having to worry about whiteheads and bright purple facial scars again.
Basically, I’m feeling pretty beautiful right now.